The Turkey Shoot

As I said before in one of my blogs, the holiday known as "Thanksgiving" is nothing more than a vicious and systematic assault on my gay cousins, the Turkey. Lets be clear, I don't like it anymore than you do. But that's no reason for an entire country to gorge ourselves on them. That being said, I was absolutely SHOCKED and STUNNED when this morning I saw several signs glorifying and inviting six pack toting, shotgun carrying, obscenely obese weekend warriors to an atrocity called a "Turkey Shoot"!! That's right!! Apparently, in Western Mass, the natives so hate my wayward cousins, the turkeys, that they have an organized event to shoot them on Sundays!! I nearly fainted when I saw the signs plastered all over the sides of the road! "Turkey Shoot Today!" "Prizes for first place!" What, my good friends, have we come to? What happens behind closed doors is none of my business, although I have heard about what actually goes on and I wonder how some of those acts are even possible. Nevertheless, a Turkey Shoot?!!? Well, tough times call for tough responses. I implore those of you as a-ghast at this latest outlash against the repugnant turkey, to join me in organizing the first of many, "Fat-Slob Hillbilly Shoots!" It won't be so much fun when I get my aim down, I'll tell you that much! Peace.