My Weekend and the Trial Separation

Just thought I would let everyone apparently I will be spending the next few days in Grafton with my Mommy's parents. I told her that I wanted a trial separation. Just between you and me she's driving me nuts. I want a good night's sleep and it will be fun to torment that little dog, Truffles. I love hissing and snapping at her - she's so clueless. I am in no mood lately for Mommy as I am molting and that makes me angrier than usual. Plus, when I am there I am spoiled. I eat dinner and breakfast with them. At night I get to watch the telly and they have HBO, so what I am really giving up by being there? NOTHING but Mommy!

Mothballs Make Me Gag

Why is that old people feel the need to preserve things? Everything that is except their minds and bodies as they let themselves go and feel "they deserve it". I digress. Nevertheless, I am absolutely stunned at the use of mothballs. I mean my God who wears wool anymore. Secondly, the odor makes me wretch. Just the other day when my Daddy came in I was lunging toward him to unleash my anger on him. But when I went to do it his coat had been drenched in mothballs. I thought it was a new type of tear gas. It made my eyes water and I started coughing. But then I had a flashback to my time in Chicopee State Prison and it is true that odors can bring back memories. I knew where he had been. He probably had been talking to the guards about having me readmitted.

Cops..Not Police Officers!

That's right I said it cops. I refuse to call them police officers. Yesterday, my Mommy was on her way to work in her rental Kia when she was pulled over by an undesirable - yes, a cop. She was driving down West Bolyston Street where I have many friends who nest at the Worcester Country Club. She saw the cop with his back to her writing someone else a ticket and began to slow down. He turned and walked back to his motorcycle, apparently he's not high up enough to actually get 4 wheels. Then he went into the road and she was coming nearly to a stop and he waved her on and then over. He told her that she was doing 42 in a 30. Now, I ask you how did come to this conclusion? His gun unless was down - unless, he has radar out of his asshole and she was nearly stopped. He wrote her a warning and it said that she was going 43 - apparently, it jumped from 42 when he pulled her over - in a 30. The best part was he told her, "just slow down, hon". HON!!!!!!!!! When she came home and told me that story, I was enraged. I am now having my friends at the Worcester Country Club "patrol" that street and that cop is going to wish he was in a car!

My Mommy

Very few of you are as intimate as I am with my Mommy. I sleep with her every night and she is so much more than a Mommy to me. So, I think it's only fair that I comment on my Mommy. I think that my Mommy is sad. She looks okay, but there is just something about her and I can't put my finger on it. She still goes to the gym, but lately she talks of how she dreads the long run. I would go with her, but I could be eaten by a cat and what if I came across an undesirable and had to attack them. She put her Jeep for sale, but there are no bites on it, but that is okay because other than going to Chicopee how much gas does she really use? She also listed her condo for rent. I think she will rent it in the fall. I even heard Daddy talking her out of getting rid of me too. I think that my Mommy is desperate for a change and in her defense I think that she feels that she is single and why not. I know that deep down she wants to get married and have a family for me to despise, but she's not getting any younger and she needs to take some action. I can understand that, but I still think that she is sad. She doesn't sleep through the night and it just seems that she is having a hard time getting herself up and flying.

Another Kennedy Struck Down in His Prime

I am sure at this point you have all heard the tragic news about our beloved Ted Kennedy. Yet another of the Kennedy's to experience the "Kennedy Curse" as Ted put it in his speech about why he let a young girl drown at the Cape. Oh, the tears it brings to my eyes. Does anyone have a kleenex or a plunger for me to make my way through this latest "crap storm"?

My god (uncapitalized on purpose, not by accident as some of you worshipping fools will think) get a grip! The man is 76; he's literally pickled his brain; cheated at Harvard on a Spanish Test - even the Spanish population think that that one is really low; drowned a former, possibly pregnant lover, at the Cape while he ate eggs and sausage; married a drunk because guess what so is he; had ugly children (what Kennedy didn't other than John, but that was because of Jackie diluting the Irish);let us not forget the rape that he was present for with his nephew, the good doctor; and attempted and failed a run at President. Yes, the country has suffered a great loss! He was the "Fredo" of the Kennedy family and only maintained his Senate seat because of his dead brothers.

I will give you that he accomplished more in his time in office than his brothers, but he had the time to do it. No one wanted him dead - why would they? He's the idiot drunk of the family that everyone at the holidays has to tell their children not to pay attention to and the woman have to jerk back from in order not to be felt up or smooched.

The only good news is - he endorsed Obama!

The Genius of Ike Turner

As you all know I love my "rock and roll" music. I think that I have the largest collection of Barry Manilow and Barbra Streisand albums of any bird that I know. That being established I would like to comment on the sheer brilliance of Ike Turner. I mean how many black men do you know that beat their wives, cheat on them, have illegitimate children and finally, are found in a seedy hotel room with their pants around their ankles, drugs on the table, a needle in their arm and the leave behinds of a local prostitute? Exactly, my point - Ike was a unique individual who like many in the hard living world of rock and roll died too young. To Ike and all the black men like him - you have my unwaivering admiration.

The Good People of Indiana and the Idiots in North Carolina

Honestly, what is wrong with Southerners. Is it the heat? Has it cooked their brains? Or is it the lack upbringing or education? Or are they just plain stupid?

My good friends in North Carolina - you voted for Obama and then apparently you gun rack bearing Confederate flag waving idiots loved his speech that sounded contrived and a little too patriotic. My God, what is wrong with you people? You are supposed to own these kind of people not vote for them. What has happened to you? I can't understand it.

Now the people of Indiana at least you have common sense and can distinguish a good politician from a good speech. Thank God for you!

I am telling all Americans now that when Obama pimps up the White House and the Secret Service are wearing big gold chains I don't want to hear your whining or crying. It will be too late!