Fuck Facebook

I am so glad that I am not an idiot on facebook posting constantly all day long. I have a facebook account, but you never see me post anything. Most people post there every move...

"9 AM, Monday, I hate work!"
"Tuesday, what a long week already"
"Wednesday, I bought new pants and they don't fit"
"Thursday, it's Margarita night"
"Fri, TGIF"
"Saturday, out getting loaded"
"Sunday, I don't want to go back to work"
Facebook is not your online diary. I don't care about the kind of day that you are having, what you ate, how wasted you got or currently are, how your kid looks retarded, why you want to kill your boss, or where you will be now or later. Get it through your thick skull and understand me when I say I and the rest of the world who are your fake friends online to make you feel less of a loser DON'T CARE!

Officer Visits

I nearly fell off my perch when the doorbell rang at 5 PM. I know that my Mommy and Daddy don't have any friends, so naturally I knew it could only be the authorities. Sure enough I was right! It was the dog officer and I smelt alcohol on his breath. I was hoping that maybe he was delivering some Chinese food from Wong's since that was clearly the dump that he came from where the beers are cheap and the women are even cheaper. However, that was not the case. Instead, he brought "forewarnings and threats" to my Daddy nonetheless. Daddy doesn't take kindly to such acts. My Mommy who had been on the phone did not even know that it was the dog officer and just assumed it was a nosy neighbor. So, she dropped the bomb of all bombs stating it was a ridiculous conversation since it was not against the law to shit on the tree belt and asked why we are even discussing it. To which my Daddy stood there speechless much like the officer. The officer then asked how would my Mommy like it if people shit on the town property in front of her house and my Mommy said "go ahead, it's town property, I don't care" and with that he left.