Oprah's a Cult Leader

I think I have figured it out - why Oprah is so loved. Besides, the obvious that people are fat, dumb pigs, I think that they are needy. They are looking for their savoir. Oprah is the biggest cult leader of them all. Time and time again what she promotes, especially in the line of books, prove to be complete lies and yet people keep worshipping. Americans for whatever reason want someone to follow. I will never understand it. Newsweek has an article, which lines my cage, about the fall of Christian America. I have a theory - it's because of the rise of Oprah America.

A Reason

I love when people say that there is a reason for something bad happening it ranks right up there with it's God's way. Let me clue you in there isn't "a reason" and God's way is nonexistent. "The reason" is scientific and looking beyond that for a reason is simply absurd. I love when I hear someone say "I have a learning disability" for a reason. And what reason would that be? To make you stupid....it's ridiculous. The reason you have the learning disability is scientifically based and that's where it starts and stops. No one ever challenges someone either when they say they are sick for "a reason". Instead, everyone nods their head and shamefully agrees. Of course, these same people pray for an answer or think that their attitude will make a difference in the outcome. It won't - studies have proven that. But people keep doing it. I often wonder if humans are not the smartest and dumbest animal all wrapped into one. How can they have the ability to reason and yet are so unable to employ it? I just don't understand it. I think in some ways animals are smarter. Although they lack much human intellect, in the same breath that doesn't get in the way of their ability to reason life and death, strong and weak.

I'm Afraid

My Mommy is getting rid of "stuff" as she puts it. I'm not talking trash. She is giving away text books, which I am okay with that. She has cleaned out closets - again I could care less. But now she is rearranging pictures. I have lost some of my artwork near my house. I think though that she has lost it because today she threw out yearbooks, graduation caps and her hood. Who's to say one bad scream from me and I'm not next?

Explosions

No, I'm not talking about 9/11 and besides that was an implosion. Any idiot could see that? Well, I take that back not the ones who still think that we landed on the moon! I'm talking about the next "big thing" - Oprah. I am putting my bird seed down now that by June she will have exploded. I am willing to take wagers on it. My God how much bigger can she get? Gayle, her lover, looks petite next to her. We all know that isn't true.

Tolerant Southerners....

....is there such a thing? Isn't that like a black Republican? I know that they exist and are not just a myth, it seems impossible to "nail" one down so to speak. I guess tolerant would have to mean diverse too. I don't think that is possible in the "deep South", a place where fucking your cousin and your dog are considered normal behavior. You might wonder why I bring this question up today after my holiest of all holidays, Passover. Well, let's say a little birdie told me that they have hummus and syrian food in them there woods. I was amazed that they allowed Arabs in, considering usually one group is allowed to where white sheets. But apparently when it comes to food it's allowed. Religion or diversity is another matter. But when it comes to a little variety from catfish balls and frog legs, they turn to their trusty Arab friend.

Obama and Europe

Who's brilliant idea was it to send a black man to Europe to negotiate? I mean, my God, people the Europeans, particularly the British take pride in owning them not talking to them. No wonder it was tense at first. Not to mention everyone kept checking to make sure that they still had their wallet after shaking hands with Obama.

Air Raids

I suffer from post traumatic Jewish disorder. Therefore, it doesn't take much for me to have an imaginary flash back. It happened the other night. Daddy was cooking and in true fashion he set off the smoke detector, not once, but three times. I knew it was an air raid, accompanied by flashing strobe lights and a loud beeping. I, unlike my Mommy, hit the deck for cover under an end table. She tried to get me to come out, but I'm no fool I wouldn't come out and be exposed to the enemy. So, I stayed under the end table until the air raid ceased. Thank God for my disorder it just saved my life!