Julia Child and President Bush

So, it has come to my attention that Julia Child is a spy for the U.S. I am not suprised and neither would you be if you attempted any of her recipes. However, it still does not explain why she or should I say he had a sex change operation. What woman in 1940 was 6 foot 2? I will tell you A MAN.

I am starting to distrust all government now and am wondering what other lies we have been fed. For instance is President Bush really the President? I am hoping to find out that he's not really our President, it certainly would explain a lot.

Religion, Patriotism and Sports

Guess what all three of these things have in common? They have the uncanny ability to put people in a trance like state. If you have ever watched someone in a church or watching "a game", their eyes are somewhat glossed over and their face motionless. In addition patriotism like religion will bring people to their knees and bring out the reasoning "of because that's what the church or the government says and whom are we to question it". You have to be afraid of those people. How do these three bodies convert people and capture their head? Simply, they strike when you are a child and are to afraid and ill equipped to know any better.

John Edwards, My Hero

Not since President Bill Clinton and the Monica Lewinsky news have I been so moved by a politician. The man is a genius. The ability to lie and look a reporter right in the eye and say "now, come on sugar, you've known me a long time....". I am surprised he didn't scold her right there in front of everyone followed with I have to teach you a lesson. He's a brave man that John Edwards. I don't think we have seen his type of character and sheer arrogrance since the Kennedy years. It melts my heart. It is American politics at their finest.

Bob Costas and the Chinese

I would like to know why Bob Costas refuses to represent the U.S. in the Olympics in terms of standing up to the Chinese and their ten year old gymnists that they try to pass off as 16. I have come up with several theories as to why...

1. He's too busy finding hair dye or shoe polish in China to redye his hair.
2. He's too busy admiring the opening ceremonies.
3. He's too busy interviewing President Bush and acting like his friend.

It could be any of these reasons or a combination. I beg you, Bob, please get a hairdresser and read a little about the Chinese to make your commentary somewhat interesting and informative. We all know that this is the greatest time in their lives and the pressure they are under. Do you seriously get paid for this type of broadcasting? Next I plan on sending a petition to NBC to ban Bob Costas from future sporting events.

Why I Hate the Olympics

I am so sick and tired of the Olympics. I know it only happens once every 4 years, but I still have a bad taste in my mouth from the last one. All the foolishness and wasted time by the participants and fans. Last time I was suckered in by the ads and I thought okay I should watch this nonsense kind of like why I started to watch Oprah, but I found that it only ruined all good television. Every time I tried to watch a contact sport I saw synchronized swimming or some whimpy past time. It was not even worth opening a beer to watch it. I had called my friends over, had the beers on ice and the chips open - you know first class entertainment - we wanted to watch two big black men pound the living shit out of each other without white policemen to break it up. But what did we see but some foreigners holding hands in a pool with their speedos on, which is so much more than I needed to see.

This year the games have begun and the Americans are practically boarding the next plane home already. Is it the Germans you ask who are winning or the Israeli's - no, it's the Chinese. Tell me it's not fixed.

Vice Presidential Candidates

I know that everyone is anxiously awaiting Obama's and Johnny boy's announcements of their running mates. My prediction for Obama are either Bill Clinton or Oprah Winfrey than he gets his Hillary people and with Oprah he secures the idiots of the country, particularly the housewives of America who are overweight and are in need of a friend. Let's see Johnny I think Johnny will have to stay away from the entire Republican party that he represents. Therefore, I think he may appoint Ralph Nader to secure the liberals and sway them from Obama.

Bye-Bye Manny

Manny is history and so is his immature look at me "I'm black" behavior. My theory is that he is on drugs of some sort, whether it be steriods or cocaine. God knows he would have access to all given his baseball and ethnic ties. So, bye-bye Manny we'll be seeing you in jail soon I'm sure.

Water on Mars

So, in case you are not on NASA's website allow me to inform you of their latest published discovery. They have found water on Mars. Now, I ask you does this mean that we can travel to Mars. I say why not. Why would I want to go to Italy or Poland when I could go to Mars? Therefore, if any of you would like to travel with me I welcome you.

Larry King and Love

Oh, my dear friends I regret to inform you of a rumor that my beloved Larry King maybe facing yet another divorce. Why can't Larry find true, lasting love I ask you? I mean who would have thought that by marrying someone nearly half your age it could not work out or that she would need to be in pain pill induced trance to be with him. What a shocker? I am just stunned beyond belief. Perhaps, Larry will find a nice Jewish girl at my temple or at his local senior center. I am determined to help Larry find love. Ladies if you could send me your pictures and profiles I will forward them to Larry. Please, no nudity with his famous suspenders.