Hello dear friends - as many of you know the New Hampshire Primaries will soon be upon us. I watched on the news today how the candidates are trying to create a social atmosphere at the polls, serving refreshments and food. While that is all fine and dandy, my enemies the seagulls and pigeons are planning a ground and air attack on people possibly voting for Ohbama, Ohsama, Ohwhocares for president. The pigeons and seagulls have undergone intense military training including; spot flying drills, carbohydrate loading diets and defecating drills with precise accuracy. People who will be targeted include those voters with Ohbama bumper stickers. They will return to their cars to a lovely present left by a pigeon at their driver's side door and will also be personally targeted while entering and exiting the polls as will their cars by air from the seagulls. Now you maybe asking yourself what if there voters are in congenito and not displaying any Ohbama propaganda. Very intelligent question and those people are going to be targeted based on the following criteria:
Appearance - color of skin being obvious, generally unkept, baggie pants, sideturned baseball caps
Automobile - any custom detailing, rims being the big tip off
Jewelry - thick gold chains or pinky rings
Music - rap and blaring as the two go hand in hand
Language - besides the given "motherfucker" and "yo, nigger" every two seconds, volume in which said words are spoken, wrong verb tenses "you is" and poor grammar in general
When will these people and Ohbama realize that they call the White House that for a reason. It's not meant to serve as your crib! My God I am so outraged that Ohbama is even an issue for the New Hampshire primaries. I thought it would have been resolved by now, but I guess that is partly my fault as I did not mount earlier attacks.
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