Children and Dogs

Well, I am pulling my feathers out over the dog only to find out that my Mommy is going to be an aunt in January and April. What is happening? Is this the end of the world first a dog and now I will have cousins. I refuse to do diaper duty, just like I refuse to let that dirty dog near me, especially after I see what it licks not to mention it pees at will. Even I a simple bird have semi-learned to poop on command. I'm not an animal. At night I retire to my chambers only to wake up to see that dirty thing in the bed. It turns my stomach, so I try to startle it into peeing by screaming. I am practicing when it's not here the exact pitch that will evoke pee. How I'd love it to pee right in front of Daddy who thinks that he is the next Caesar with that little rat. Nothing would give me greater pleasure then to rub Daddy's nose in it.