No Comments

So, I can't help but notice the lack of comments from devoted readers. What's the matter...cat gotcha your tongue? No one ballsy enough to show that they too have an opinion or are you all just idle victims of this thing called life. You disgust me. What's the use of writing and standing up for all of you poor slobs if you are not even going to bravely anonymously comment? I hope that my readers abroad at least have a backbone that my weak Americans are lacking. Pathetic!

Cutting Edge

Well, one of my so called fans has posted a comment under a "fag cooking" that I'm not "cutting edge" anymore. I am stunned, shocked and hurt by this comment. I mean my God whom else tells like it is and pushes the boundaries of good taste more than me? I am the Lenny Bruce of the bird world with my humor. Just like Lenny I know my fate won't be easy. Next thing you know my Mommy will bailing my ass out of jail and everyone will say I was ahead of my time. But apparently to the fag named taghe I'm not cutting edge enough for him. Now the gloves are off!

Pussies

That's right...you are all Pussies. No one has dared comment on the Flood Fund! What are you afraid of the big wrath from the people in the Ninth Ward. I'm going to go out on a limb here (figuratively and literally), but I think that as long as they can be within walking distance of a liquor store they will be happy! But whom am I to say what's right and wrong. I will say rebuilding the Ninth Ward and the entire levee system is ABSOLUTELY irresponsible and is actually causing more harm with erosion than helping in the big picture. But people want cheap property and a fix right now! If they rebuild, I think that they should make it public housing or a jail. I would say a church or some kind of house of worship, but typically they are located in an area of prime real estate. So, Pussies you are and Pussies you will be.

Flood Fund

So, my Mommy and so called Daddy just came back from New Orleans. They are lucky that they survived such an ordeal. It has come to my attention that they visited many sights...plantations where Daddy hoped to see working slaves, city tours where Mommy tried to embarass Daddy on a bus load filled with blacks, otherwise known as escaped slaves, and a museum tour of Katrina. I think that I can safely say that they would be in agreement with my flood fund. I am asking for money, shovels and laborers that's the new polite term for "them". We need to dig out the levees. This city needs the water to rise and take it away. It's a dump no one in their right mind would live there. Daddy, of course, thinks that this approach is an extreme, but I think that it's what Bush tried to do, but failed completing. Brad Pitt and his "Ninth Ward Make It Right" project are pathetic. Who builds where it floods intentionally? Only a stupid actor that's who! I'm so disgusted by the poverty, graffiti, vandalism, pornography and vomit in the streets. Something has to change and I am the only one willing to make it happen. Join me and give to the Flood Fund today!!

A Fag Cooking

Daddy is pretending to be a chef. He's making celery root, you would think that he is Mr. Gourmet. Seriously, who does he think he is? It's offensive to anyone who can even so much as nuke a lean cuisine. I have heard countless times about what a great cook he is. Apparently, pureeing something is considered to be an art form now? I'm less than impressed. I want my pizza from Dino's, not some homemade version or Domino's that he thinks is so great! I don't care that they have reformulated their pizza, I'm loyal despite my taste buds. And of course, thrown in that they deliver sweetens the deal. But I digress....where we were? Oh, yes, Daddy is a fag in an apron. And I'm learning that now he likes to hang out with fags, especially old ones. How sick is that? I know, but what I can do just sit and watch I guess and shake my head in shame.

Hello to the Netherlands

I have noticed when I checked the stats on my blog and who exactly is reading it that I have a lot of fans in the Netherlands. Welcome friends, countrymen and Netherlandians! Thank you for lending me your ears and eyes. You are clearly more intelligent than the mere stupid American. While I've never been to Netherland (not to be confused with Neverland and that child diddler, shameless self-promoter, 'King of Pop' but can't hold a candle to the real deal, the one and only diva amongst diva's--Celine Dion) I have surely been there in my mind with you. Unlikely, I will ever do a tour stop so you can shower me with praise as I hear from reliable sources that it is "cold as all hell," and I am tropical. Needless to say, you "get" me and for that, you are a people of high moral and intellectual esteem. Now that I think of the Netherlands, I wonder, what sporting events most tickle your fancies? Skiing and hockey, I would imagine--both favs of mine--or perhaps hottubing with big boobed blonde bimbos brimming with booze, vodka and other spritis of the night that make it far easier (yet, not easy enough for the average slob) to stick it where the sun don't shine, if you know what I mean!! Aaah, now I wish I were there with you, my fans. But I digress-I've already praised you too long--don't want anyone getting idea I'm just a regular fella'. Be well, keep reading, and drop me a line now and then to comment on my posts. Au revoir, as you say!!

Pancakes and Thanksgiving

Well, I'm here in Grafton living with total strangers because my Mommy has dumped me once again for the season. I am a tropical bird living in New England while that part cat, rat of a dog has her sorry ass in southern Florida. I have, however, been enjoying my breakfasts of pancakes and syrup, which I have suggested numerous times that they heat up on the stove first while whisking in some butter, but what do I know! Today, I woke up and realized to my horror that they have been fattening me up for the dreaded day - Thanksgiving. I think that they know that I am not a turkey, but since this year they are going to their son's for dinner the first time I ever I think that they are coming up with a back up plan for when they come home. Truffles kind of looks like mashed potatoes, so she better watch out! It's war I have to save myself.