My Mommy Can't Read

I didn't want to believe it at first, I tried to deny it, but I just have to face the reality of the situation - she can't read. Why else would the television be on constantly? It's worse than living with an old person. She starts at 6 AM with Imus of all vile things to start your day with and she wonders why I start my day screaming. Then we have the luxury of breakfast and her leaving me with the telly on, doesn't she get it. I hate the noise. It literally rattles my cage. All day it won't stop. The only possible explanation for it is her inability to read. Good God I hope that she doesn't get hooked on soap opera's next in exchange for the History Channel.