HELP!!!!

I am begging you my loyal readers/followers for your help! I keep trying to escape while the guards are out doing yard patrol, you know out getting a gallon of milk. I diveboom to the floor and after I get my bearings I start heading to the door. Now, if any of you have seen how I walk, I'm a bit loopsided. My feet cross over each other, so I can't make good time. I no sooner edge to the door when they come waltzing in with their gallon of milk. At that point I have no other choice, but to make noise and pray that they will hear me and not step on me, not to mention I get the draft of the door and start to rethink my plan. I need someone to get them out long enough for me to make it to the door and I've decided I am going to have a cab waiting. However, I don't carry American money on me. I am asking for your help in distracting them and in raising cab fare. I do not accept checks, gift cards or spare change. I will only accept unmarked bills.

Delusional Kool Aid

Where can I get some? Everyone seems to have their own stash - Bush had it be the case, the Republicans brew it, and people that I know suck it down. Since when did living in a neighborhood with broken windshields and trash in the trees, be spun as a sought after location?
Also, women I have to say that I think by far you are the biggest consumers of it all! Let's start with your views with men "I'll change him", "I can't leave", "he doesn't mean it". What is with this creature that they fail to accept reality when it is staring them right in the face? I think it's a shortcoming and a neediness and the only thing that can explain it is swigging down the Kool Aid. My Mommy and I say "FUCK IT" we are reality bound, regardless, of what the rest of the world is drinking.

The New Milano

I know that you have all heard of it Milano children, but if you haven't let me explain it. A black man or woman gets together with the opposite sex and reproduces children whom the rest of the world refer to as Milano. However, I am going to take the liberty to introduce a new term to replace Milano - it's Obama. Now, we will say that a mix child is an Obama or some may prefer to say the next President. I think this term is more politically correct, although I don't very much care when and whom I offend. My lack of concern grants me a certain freedom!

Stimulate This

So, Obama has a stimulus "package". I don't doubt that being black he has a big stimulus "package", but I don't see the need for him to keep talking about his "package" constantly. Everyone is fixated on Obama's "package" - I think that it is because he is black. No one cared about Bush's "package" when he was in office. You can't run a country based on your "package". Obama needs his advisors to pull him aside and tell him he needs to stop promoting his "package" at every press conference, it's rather tacky.

Flashes and Noise

My Mommy was out in a restaurant and she came home asking me a few questions, so I feel it is my obligation to answer them. She wants to know why cameras are accompanied by noise. I told her, Mommy it's simple using the camera in the restaurant accompanied with a flash doesn't gather enough attention, so the people must accompany by it a loud laugh of some sorts. I don't need to hear and see this sad skeptical when I am dining. And then they will go home and post it on Facebooks for more attention. Cameras in public just make me sad.

Drugs in the White House

I knew that "this" would happen with a black President - drugs! I am making it my mission in life to expose Obama for whom he really is - a drug addict. He quit smoking for Michelle, which I don't for one second believe. It was for campaigning purposes. Now, most of you would think that is good that he quit, regardless of the reason. Okay, if that's your pussy beliefs, whom am I to discourage your from them. However, he has simply replaced his pack of cigarettes with a pack of gum. Nicorette gum - he's been chewing for over a year. Absolutely, not what the gum is designed for at all. It's for short term use. But Obama has been replacing one drug with another his entire life - in high school he did marijuana and if I'm not mistaken cocaine. So, there you have it America is being run by an ADDICT!

Reason and Pulling the Plug

When you eliminate reason, you allow emotion to rule. Reason is black and white, but emotion casts a gray shadow over everything. For example, pulling the plug - I was watching an episode of "Lost" and one of the scenes had someone in a coma, pulling the plug type of situation. Someone made a good point "don't confuse guilt with hope". I think humans too often do that and if they just stepped back and realized that the two are separate and distinct it would be easier to face many of life's toughest decisions.