Obama Won and I'm Scared

So, in the words of McCain, "my friends Obama won and I'm scared". I'm scared because I just realized all the things about the "black world" that I don't know, but I will now have to scramble to know in order not to be killed. I don't know Ebonics; I don't like Rap; I don't eat a "messing of anything", including Watermelon, Fried Chicken and Corn Bread; I don't have a beat up Honda Civic with the rims that spin and a tripped out speaker system; I don't have a "black wardrobe" to blend in with the others, you know what I am talking about Gold Chains, Baggy Pants (depending on what area of the country you are in), a "Warm Up Suit"; I don't have any stolen goods; no one in my family is in jail; no one I know lives in the projects; I have a job writing my blog; I don't expect other people to pay my way, i.e. welfare; I don't use drugs and I can't hook you up with someone who does or deals them; lastly, I am not grossly overweight. What am I going to do? How can I possibly master all of these black factors by January?