Camp

That's what I'm "calling" it. I was left alone in solitary confinement without food and dirty water. My perch had fallen from it's position as had I. I was locked in a back room and then locked in my cage as if I had any chance of escape was possible. Where would I go into the cold dark night? I may have been desperate, but I was not stupid. It's a sad man who is at the mercy of a Polish guard. How far I had fallen in a matter of a few short days! I thought having the Arab guard was as bad as it could get, but how sadly mistaken was I. At least the Arab cleaned my cage and changed my water. I can't remember the last time I bathe. Luckily, my Mommy and Daddy (much to my disgust that I have to admit it) saved me. Today, was the first day that I have had a bath in months and I have pizza to feast on as well. Life is good. I am even tolerating the rat that licks her ass as if it were her job. I am just going to look the other way when she does it. I will no longer take it as an insult to me, but I am looking it at as she must be comfortable with me and feel that she is among friends if she can do it so freely.

My Daddy and Fags

For whatever reason my Daddy attracts fags...I'm not talking about hot, young fags...oh, no I'm talking about old, senile, fat fags. They just love my Daddy and they feel the need to share their intimate information with him without being prompted. He just is minding his own business walking the rat, so that she can take a dump the size of his arm when one of his faggy friends randomly rolls down his window and shouts out "going back to the adult store to return our gay porn". I love that Daddy was caught in an awkward position with his jaw dropped, but I guess it's better than having his pants dropped. The rat just went about her business having an elephant size dump...I really don't know where she stores it, but that is another subject for another day.

No Comments

So, I can't help but notice the lack of comments from devoted readers. What's the matter...cat gotcha your tongue? No one ballsy enough to show that they too have an opinion or are you all just idle victims of this thing called life. You disgust me. What's the use of writing and standing up for all of you poor slobs if you are not even going to bravely anonymously comment? I hope that my readers abroad at least have a backbone that my weak Americans are lacking. Pathetic!

Cutting Edge

Well, one of my so called fans has posted a comment under a "fag cooking" that I'm not "cutting edge" anymore. I am stunned, shocked and hurt by this comment. I mean my God whom else tells like it is and pushes the boundaries of good taste more than me? I am the Lenny Bruce of the bird world with my humor. Just like Lenny I know my fate won't be easy. Next thing you know my Mommy will bailing my ass out of jail and everyone will say I was ahead of my time. But apparently to the fag named taghe I'm not cutting edge enough for him. Now the gloves are off!

Pussies

That's right...you are all Pussies. No one has dared comment on the Flood Fund! What are you afraid of the big wrath from the people in the Ninth Ward. I'm going to go out on a limb here (figuratively and literally), but I think that as long as they can be within walking distance of a liquor store they will be happy! But whom am I to say what's right and wrong. I will say rebuilding the Ninth Ward and the entire levee system is ABSOLUTELY irresponsible and is actually causing more harm with erosion than helping in the big picture. But people want cheap property and a fix right now! If they rebuild, I think that they should make it public housing or a jail. I would say a church or some kind of house of worship, but typically they are located in an area of prime real estate. So, Pussies you are and Pussies you will be.

Flood Fund

So, my Mommy and so called Daddy just came back from New Orleans. They are lucky that they survived such an ordeal. It has come to my attention that they visited many sights...plantations where Daddy hoped to see working slaves, city tours where Mommy tried to embarass Daddy on a bus load filled with blacks, otherwise known as escaped slaves, and a museum tour of Katrina. I think that I can safely say that they would be in agreement with my flood fund. I am asking for money, shovels and laborers that's the new polite term for "them". We need to dig out the levees. This city needs the water to rise and take it away. It's a dump no one in their right mind would live there. Daddy, of course, thinks that this approach is an extreme, but I think that it's what Bush tried to do, but failed completing. Brad Pitt and his "Ninth Ward Make It Right" project are pathetic. Who builds where it floods intentionally? Only a stupid actor that's who! I'm so disgusted by the poverty, graffiti, vandalism, pornography and vomit in the streets. Something has to change and I am the only one willing to make it happen. Join me and give to the Flood Fund today!!

A Fag Cooking

Daddy is pretending to be a chef. He's making celery root, you would think that he is Mr. Gourmet. Seriously, who does he think he is? It's offensive to anyone who can even so much as nuke a lean cuisine. I have heard countless times about what a great cook he is. Apparently, pureeing something is considered to be an art form now? I'm less than impressed. I want my pizza from Dino's, not some homemade version or Domino's that he thinks is so great! I don't care that they have reformulated their pizza, I'm loyal despite my taste buds. And of course, thrown in that they deliver sweetens the deal. But I digress....where we were? Oh, yes, Daddy is a fag in an apron. And I'm learning that now he likes to hang out with fags, especially old ones. How sick is that? I know, but what I can do just sit and watch I guess and shake my head in shame.