It's Been Awhile....

....since I have graced you with my words of wisdom. I have been a victim of Italian terrorism. I don't know how I got involved with such horror, well actually that's not true I blame my Daddy. He has insisted on bringing home someone from the Mob and his family. The head of the family, we'll call him "Dave" has threatened to take my food. His sons are also a part of the rain of terror. Naturally, when Dave has touched my food I have screamed bloody murder only to be silenced by one of the "boys". I have read about how the Mafia will come in and take over your home and business, but I never thought me being a nice Jew would be victim to it. They come in and overwhelm my Mommy to the point that she's defenseless. Dave's wife acts oblivious to it all, which is typcial behavior of a wife married to a mobster - they turn a blind eye. I don't have any gambling debts, hookers or drug habit to feed, so I can't understand why I am under such an attack, but I am. I need help. They have shown me pictures of their cat to let me know "what could be done". They claim that "Fluffy" has a cat toy with my picture on it and I believe them. I will keep you posted if I can of how I am fairing.