Freedom and My Bailout

I thought the Constitution and the Bill of Rights was supposed to protect me from crazy, lunatics who want to control my life. Well, it didn't work with the Dickister or the Big Dick as I like to call him, otherwise known as our current Vice President. So, I guess I should be little surprsied to think that it would protect me from my new vet either. I was all excited yesterday to get in the Jeep, I thought we would go offroading, a favorite past time of mine, or pull up next to small little cars where I can look down and yell obscenities, but it was not to be. I ended up at the vet in my knapsack. I was stunned. Next thing I knew I was sweep up, felt up and having my private area exposed and touched. I did not appreciate this treatment by a total stranger and especially, in front of my Mommy of all people. I just thank my lucky stars that Daddy wasn't there because he would have started laughing and pointing and I just don't need that. Next thing before I could start swearing I was taken to another room where my wings where clipped and my claws trimmed. When we finally got into the Jeep, I didn't have the strength to antagonize the other drivers on the rode. I could hardly keep my eyes open. BUT now that I am home I find that my diet has been completely changed, so I am protesting and not eating it at all. Therefore, friends I am begging you to send your money to me and help me be able to eat again. I will only take cash given the economy. Help me with my bailout program.