Oprah

As my loyal readers know, I hate Oprah for reasons that are obvious. But I think I have finally figured out why people love Oprah, she's the new prophet. You can worship her from the ease of your couch with your Cheetoos and Budweiser and you don't have to put out your butt. No wonder she has so many loyal followers. In addition much like a religious leader she doesn't have to have any kind of scientific proof for what she preaches as gospel. The only thing that throws me in her wide appeal is that she is BLACK. I wouldn't have thought that there would be so many worshippers with that drawback, but then again makes all the more sense why nothing she says is backed by an educated opinion.