The Jew and the Alarm

Oh, where do I begin???  Well, first off let me start with the good news my Daddy and the rat left town in the middle of the night.  I wasn't sad to see them go in fact it's been rather pleasant until the last few days. We live next to a pushy Jew as if there is any other kind, but I digress.  The pushy Jew likes the bear of a dog called Leo.  When my Mommy, goes out the Jew lets himself in through the slider despite my screaming and takes Leo.  Now, I don't care in the least.  However, Mommy seems all bent out of shape over it.  So, she decides to set him up and leave the slider unlocked, but the alarm on.  It would have been nice if I had a received a memo about this before the alarm went off.   Apparently, I don't count around here. The drunk Jew comes over right after Mommy leaves and lets out Leo and sets the alarm off and thinks nothing off it.  Can you believe it?  I was stunned and the bear goes with him.  I don't know which action stunned me more or who was dumber.  My god....
Mommy came home to find Leo once again outside.   Now, the drunk Jew knows that Mommy knows the jig is up.  And he has the balls to come in last week and say he doesn't like me.  Yeah, he doesn't like me because I scream every time he comes in here.  I'm no dumb dog or dumb Jew.

Oh and I Laugh

I just came across a blog site named "wetrilikegirls.blogspot".  I am convinced that it must be some kind of farce.  I have never seen such fat women in workout gear and tutu's. It's absolutely hilarious.  Did the psych ward let everyone out due to a lack of funds?  Oh my God - these women are deranged.  Some are wearing "angel wings", while others are in evening gowns showing off their cankles all the while proclaiming that they are fitness nuts.  Well, they are definitely nuts.  Some pictures show them with cakes, which I think is more of what they are doing than training.  Every time I go to this website I get a good laugh for myself.  I encourage you all to do the same.

An Antisemite and a Bear

I know that it's been far too long since I have communicated with my fan base. Let me just get you up to speed on the going on's in my life. I live next to a drunk, obnoxious Jew, the drunk part is what turns me off. He insists on knocking on my door...my Mommy just acts like she doesn't hear it and keeps watching the telly. Daddy decided to adopt Leo - half lab half bear. Mommy walks him, which has now turned into a run so he has lost a lot of weight. You might think that that is good, but it's not. Now he jumps up and grabs food off the counter, but the best was he pulled out my poop tray and ate it. I was disgusted. I couldn't watch, but I had to if you know what I mean. I turned to the rat and said even you haven't stooped this low, which leads me to my news on her. The little rat has turned into an antisemite. The other night at dinner with a Jew couple that we hardly know she tried to bite the woman in the face. I was horrified. I looked at Leo who was tied to the stairs and said can you believe it. You are tied up and that one bites someone in the face. Clearly, we know who's Daddy's favorite. I fear for my life between the antisemite and the shit eater I don't have a chance.

I Live in a Zoo

I'm literally surrounded by assholes. They just sit and stare at me all day long. I scream in their face to no avail. Sometimes Daddy gets mad and puts me outside...can you believe it, like I'm the problem. He is so manipulated by them, especially by the little one. I watch her ride the big guy's ears like it's some kind of carnival ride and then finally when he's had enough he turns on her and she yelps. Of course that is when the biggest idiot of them all jumps from his chair yelling without asking questions. I think to myself you have an eyewitness right here. This is not the retirement that I pictured in sunny Florida. Two assholes and then me shoved outside to be hawk bate. I take it back I don't live in a zoo, I think that would be a step up from here.

Jew Neighbor

I am in heaven...I live in a tropical paradise with a Jew neighbor who wants to make trouble. How much more could a bird ask for out of life? It's at the point where two cop cruisers where here on a Thursday night. I wish I videoed it. According to the Jew he's done with the feud here, he's now going to take it to his yogurt store. He said perhaps I will read about it in the paper, I can only hope so!

Thanksgiving

Florida

Well, here I am in a tropical paradise living in the closet. I'm not gay..I'm literally living in a closet. I can't believe this is the life that I've been driven to nearly 1400 miles. I blame Daddy for it. I was put in a little cage in the middle of the night and into the front seat of Mommy's Miata. We drove through the dark and the rain only to end up in a closet. WTF? On our way we got thrown out of a Fairfield Inn, which apparently I'm being blamed for due to my vocal abilities. Instead, we had to stay in a seedy hotel run rampant with blacks. We booked out of there at 330 AM, which was just as good with me. We jumped back onto 95 and I was promised it would be better a day. Well, here am in a sunny place locked in a closet. Rumor has it that the rat and Daddy are going to join us in a week or so...great! I don't really understand then why we left in the dead of the night if they are only going to follow us anyway. What was the point? I should have known when he kept calling on the blue tooth that he would track us down. At one point in the ride I tried to hang myself, but I failed and just got my foot stuck in my cozy. Pathetic, I know. Mommy didn't even pull over to help me, something about merging with traffic. Before I tried to hang myself she decided to take a detour in New York City little did I know it was just to give me a sampling of what we would be staying with that night. When am I going to realize that nothing with her is "random" and that Daddy is behind all of it?