Bella the Cockatoo

The betrayals just keep getting worse. Here I am in prison with my wings cut off and my Mommy has joined a gym with a cockatoo named Bella. She works out and plays with Bella. She feeds her, talks to her, pets her and plays with her under the guise of working out. Not to mention that I haven't heard from Daddy at all. The message from Mommy and Daddy is becoming very clear and I cannot wait to get out of here. I am going to wreak such havoc on my parents. My plan is to be good when I first get home and then I will implement my plan. First, when they put me on their finger the shit will fly literally. Next, when I am in my cage I will take my food and whip it around the room. Finally, as a last means of annoyance I will scream when they are on the phone, talking to each other, walk in and out of the room, and most importantly when Daddy attempts to sleep. Please send in any suggestions to punish my Mommy and Daddy in the comment field.

Mommy and the Seagulls

I have just received word that my Mommy is making friends with my arch enemy the seagulls. My privated investigators, the peloquins, have reported that they have spotted her on the beach feeding those bottom dwellers. Supposedly, she had a whole flock following her down the beach. I don't know if I believe that because that betrayal would be so hurtful and spiteful to me. I have asked the peloquins to provide pictures before I make any final judgements against her.

Bird Tricks

I encourage each and everyone of you to visit www.birdtricks.com and egg them via email. These two gay brothers are insane. My Mommy and Daddy watched one of their dvd's on how they could learn new tricks to do with me, which was all fine and dandy. However, one of the gay brothers is clinically insane. He keeps sending my Mommy dirty birdy emails and demanding of her to purchase more of his products. I mean my God sir get a grip if you know what I mean.

Obama and the Kennedy's

Honestly, wasn't it enough for the Kennedys to associate with Martin Luther King and the whole civil rights movement? Now they have to support Obama. If I were him, I would be careful of his so called friends. We all know where that got King.

Whom I Blame

My guards are eating their dinner, so I have a minute. I am slowly remembering the finer details of my intervention. I was put in Daddy's car and he was driving! I never would have thought that my own Daddy would inflict this torture on me. If and when I ever go back home to my Mommy, I am going to go crazy if Daddy even dares approach me like a rabid wild animal. I will never trust that man I call Daddy again!

Where Am I

Hello, everyone I am writing to you while my guards are preoccupied. I will try to write as fast as I can. Last Friday in the middle of the night I was transported with all of my belongings to an undisclosed location deep in the woods. Upon my arrival I was whisked inside where I was then poked, proded and stared at by 2 guards and other inmates. I have read about this happening, but I never thought it would happen to me. I'm in REHAB, I hope. What else could it be? I am in the woods far from all temptations. I haven't had a glass of wine in 3 days. They are trying to strip away my sheer identity. They chased me around and finally caught me and cut off my wings. I can still see them there, but they will not work for me. I cannot fly any longer. I attend "group" in the morning with the other inmates. At first I thought I was above them (literally) because I could fly and now my guards are trying to make me become one of them. I will NEVER. They can strip me of everything, but my soul. I still refuse to cooperate with my guards. I lash out whenever possible and refuse to let them in my cell. Oh no, I think they see me on the computer. I have to go, but will write when I can.

Wine and My Cold

Hello, friends as many of you know I love my red wines from merlots to cabarnets to sangioveses, which reminds me of my days in Italy. However, I also have developed a slight problem. I drink to the point where I cannot fly. Now, I find that I have a cold and my Mommy being a know it all PharmD is telling me that cough syrups are a waste of my money. I could not agree more, so I have decided to replace Nyquil with wine. I find it helps my throat and stops my cough at night. Why bother with expensive disgusting tasting cough syrups when you can indulge in wine? In addition it helps with my disposition, which as some of you may have experienced can be harsh at times. There is no reason for my disposition as I have led nothing but a life of sheer privilege. I think it is the ridiculousness of the world that surrounds me that has caused me to adapt this tough exterior. I contemplate these things when I drink my wine and then I forget about them as any good glass should make you do. Don't you agree?